Health & Fitness
I Want To Look Like My Mother 'Mom'ory
When I was young, my mother had super powers: flashing 'the look' across rooms to reign in her prey, like Spiderman and his web.
Since my children have enthusiastically approached school this year, I was thinking of taking a few classes myself...workout classes, perhaps a self-help class, maybe even a knitting class during the cold winter months; you know, the kind of classes that fill my brain but contain no homework.
There is something else I'd love to learn but can't seem to find out where to sign up for it. I'd love to learn 'The look'. No, not cook, but rather the art of narrowing the eyes to convey your utmost disappointment and anger at your children while in public or on the phone.
I want to perfect the look that screams at the kids without having to say a word.
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Yes, I want to 'look' like my mother. Boy, did that woman have it down pat! She could be on the phone in the kitchen attached by its, now obsolete, umbilical-like cord and give 'the look' to me or my siblings with such force that I'd always wondered if she had super powers.
Fast-forward thirty years and welcome to my life, where my kids see me on the phone as an opportunity to grab a snack; a snack inappropriate for them, like chips and dip before school or a dozen cookies before bed.
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I've tried to continue the conversation without interruption, so I squeeze out my most powerful look. To my kids, it's a glance. It doesn't even remotely deter them. Mind you, I'm on a cordless phone and can see everywhere they go and everything they do. I am practically in their face as I resort to snapping my fingers, flailing my arms, or stomping a foot.
Nothing.
It isn't until I excuse myself from the person on the other end and tell them that I need to hang up to beat my children (only kidding), that the lightbulb goes off and they go running, leaving a trail of crumbs behind.
Why is this? Have moms across the world lost the look as well, or did I just not inherit this from my ancestors? Well, by golly, if I don't have it, I'll get it! I still have a few good years left to use 'the look' if I learn fast.
So, excuse me, I need to start browsing through my continuing education brochures.
